HER : Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
HIM : I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
HIM : Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.
HIM : If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
HIM : What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
HIM : The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
HIM : Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
HIM : Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
HIM : Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
HER : OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO
HIM : Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
HIM : There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
HIM : Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything.
HER : Une femme qui s'en va avec son amant n' "abandonne" pas son mari : elle le débarasse d'une femme infidèle.
HER : Avec les femmes, il y a trois étapes : tu les fais rire, tu les fais jouir, tu les fais chier. Et il ne faut jamais passer à la troisième étape avant d'avoir franchi les deux premières.
HER : Dieu a dit : "Je partage en deux, les riches auront la nourriture, les pauvres de l'appétit".
HIM : Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
HER : You have given and taken a lot of things from me. You gave me a reason to smile, and took away my ability to love anyone else.
HER : Saying I love you isn’t half as important as meaning it.
HER : Some of the greater things in life are unseen thats why you close your eyes when you kiss, cry, or dream...
HER : Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
HIM : Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
HIM : The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
HIM : Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
HIM : Sexy Unix Commands: date; unzip; touch; strip; finger; mount; gasp; yes; uptime;
HER : The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
HER : I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
HIM : Ya see, we at Microsoft believe in making computing easier! What could be easier for consumers than having only ONE choice of software?!?
HIM : What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard? The space bar.
HIM : Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
HER : I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
HER : A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often.
HER : See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
HIM : Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
HIM : Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
HIM : It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
HIM : Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
HIM : Wise men learn by other men's mistakes, fools by their own.
HER : Les modèles réduits, c'est toujours des cadeaux populaires. Sauf dans les sex-shops.
HER : Il vaut mieux être saoul que con, ça dure moins longtemps.
HIM : I could've eaten alphabits and crapped out a better essay!
HER : Sex is like pizza: when it's good, it's REALLY good. When it's bad... it's still pretty good.
HIM : War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.
HER : True friendship isn't being inseparable, it's being separated and nothing changes.
HIM : You laugh because I am different... I laugh cause I just farted!
HER : Une belle femme plait aux yeux, une bonne femme plait au coeur. L'une est un bijoux, l'autre est un trésor.
HER : Love the heart that hurts you but never hurt the heart that loves you.
HIM : "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." -George W. Bush
HER : We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
HIM : Want to Make $$$$ with your Computer? No Risk! Simply press shift-4 four times in a row.
HIM : Q: What is the difference between Windows 95 and Windows 98? A: 3 years
HER : A silent hug means a thousand words to the unhappy heart.
HER : When there's no pain, it's not love anymore.
HIM : You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
HER : Friendship isnt about whom you have known the longest... it's about who came and never left your side.
HIM : You must always strive to be the best, but you must never believe that you are.
HIM : Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
HIM : Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.
HIM : No one can make you feel inferior without your consent
HIM : The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
HER : Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.
HIM : Men are like bank accounts, without a lot of money they don't show a lot of interest.
HIM : Time is a good teacher, but it kills all its students!
HIM : To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
HER : You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.
HIM : I'm not full blooded jew, I'm jew ish!
HER : If we're always guided by other people's thoughts, what's the point in having our own?
HER : I want to be your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
HIM : Silence is the true friend that never betrays.
HER : Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
HER : If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.
HIM : Never close your lips to whom you have opened your heart.
HER : Never frown when you're sad because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
HIM : La vie c'est comme un jeu de cartes, quand ton partner a pas un bon jeu y te reste plus qu'a compter sur ta main!
HER : We're trying to save water, so you can shower with me.
HER : If you're cute, you can call me baby. If you're nice, you can call me sweetie. If you're HOT, you can call me tonight.
HIM : I only support gay marriage if both chicks are hot.
HIM : I'll just pretend to hug you until you get here.
HER : Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
HER : Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.
HIM : Vaut mieux avoir un torticoli a regarder au loins que d'avoir mal au dos a se regarder les pieds.
HER : A true friend walks in when the whole world walks out.
HIM : A wife! Because beer is heavy.
HER : Great minds discuss events, average minds discuss ideas, small minds discuss people.
HER : Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would, I'd never leave.
HIM : I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad.
HER : I don't believe in miracles, I rely on them.
HER : When a heart loves, it lives with pain.
HIM : At this point it is no more global warming, it's cooking!
HIM : Intel inside, Idiot outside.
HER : The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
HER : I can resist anything but temptation.
HIM : Comme le disait le grand Jule Cesar... c'est l'fun ya pas de bebittes.
HER : En essayant continuellement on fini par reussir, donc plus ca rate, plus on a de chance que ca marche.
HIM : La musique est la flatterie du coeur.
HER : La danse est l'expression verticale d'un desir horizontal.
HIM : Fat chicks can have sex too, but they have to pay.
HER : La boisson a ete faite pour que meme les laids baisent.